Compassion beyond time

It was on Halloween 2020, full moon.

I woke up that morning feeling chaotic. I didn't sleep this night, I thought to myself. My daughter was awake and playful half of the night, and then my sick son woke me up when she finally fell asleep. He needed me to blow his nose. He was angry with himself and his nose because he didn't want to be sick. And that triggered me. I became angry because I had no energy left. I felt tired to deal with his anger. I needed my sleep more than anything. I started to think about how much I need my time to be with myself. I needed it badly. I didn't even have the energy to be a good mother (whatever that meant). Feeling chaos that morning, I suddenly realized that I am alone in my bed. My husband and sister took the kids. It was time to be with myself. What to do? I knew I probably don't have much time (whatever that meant). I started to breathe. I took a deep, deep, conscious breath and allowed my body and mind to relax. I started to feel myself. I felt vulnerable and somehow different. I didn't feel emotions anymore. Just feelings, sensual feeling of being with myself. I opened my heart and let go. The experience of being me echoed through my body and turned out to be a beautiful and sensual experience. I enjoyed it very much. I allowed the feeling of beautiful life force rushing through my body. The embodiment felt good in every cell. As I was in this place I opened up my consciousness and wanted to make a contact with my sick son from this place. I asked him while being in this deep level of being what he needed from me, what was the energy dynamic of him being sick? I felt him calm and joyful and felt his wings. He said to me:" I can fly. Look." I saw his soul didn't mind the anger of his human self. He was changing the energy and consciousness in his body. He was integrating. I understood at that moment there was nothing for me to do. He didn't need any healing, except to help him take care of his little body. I can only feel compassion for what he decided to go through. My worries had nothing to do with him. So I returned to myself at that moment. All is my energy. So I asked myself what is in me that I am really worried about. Where does it come from? My inner child showed up right in front of me. She was angry about not being seen. She was fighting for something, all the time. For attention, love, her place, being heard... She never had enough what she needed. The world was not a fair place for her to be in. At that moment my compassionate self reached out to her. Looked her right in the eyes, filled with love and acceptance, and hugged her. The little child felt that. All the fighting at that moment seemed funny to her. It became part of a funny act of rebellion. There wasn't a struggle anymore. My memories of life changed at that moment. I felt it was so much easier. I took a deep breath. At that now moment, as I had my eyes closed, I saw an old lady coming my way. I recognized her right away- my future self. Her compassionate energy, acceptance, love, wisdom, and her radiance started to meld with me. Awareness and integration took place in my body. "Not to worry my dear", she said. Everything will turn out beautifully. I felt peace and tears in my eyes. Everything is alright. I trusted myself at that moment and had faith in my kids. All is well. Timeless compassion took place in my body.