My Story
Sonja Pantar
Since I was a young child I loved exploring myself and spending time with myself. I didnt understand why most people dont asks themselves questions about life,and I started to see early on the effects of mass consciousness and living unconsciously, unaware of Self. In my late teens and early twenties I questioned who am I, what is the meaning of life and started the process of awakening. It looked similar to a scene from Matrix movie where Neo wakes up and sees that everything around him is a matrix. I knew there is more to life, there must be something beyond my humanness. The truth of everything from the outside being a mirror of my own inner landscape started to unfold. I knew I was the creator of my own life. But I didn't feel like one. So the quest to know my parts, aspects began. To find the answers to who am I, and what is my purpose. I started to explore myself through body, mind and spirit through yoga, meditation, spiritual practices at the very beginning and after through body oriented psychotherapy, free dancing, Core Evolution (by Siegmar Gerken Ph.D.), somatic experiences, shadow work, lucid dreaming, internal parts work, breathing and allowing all that I am. I worked on my realization for many years and learning how to love myself. I found Crimson Circle materials and emersed myself in many advanced studies, live events and classes such as Sexual Energy School,Aspectology, Dreamwalker Death, Dreamwalker Birth, Master Code, Journey of the Angels, Master Life series, Master pause series, Keahak and more. It helped me to manage my own energy, to allow all parts of myself to come home, and to allow through conscious breathing. In the end I just allowed my realization and all of my Self to embody in this lifetime. I am human, I am divine, I am that I am.
After becoming a parent I have found a passion in my life to facilitate others on their journey of becoming a parent. I hold Masters degree in Early and Preschool Childhood Education, which helped me in understanding developmental phases of a child and how to hold a nurturing environment for a child in each phase. After my first birth I went on a DONA International training for becoming a doula, which helped me understand pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. But the most profound wisdom regarding birth I found in Dreamwalker Birth School, by becoming an Adoula. One of the practices which influenced my approach today is body oriented psychotherapy that I practiced for more than a decade. It helped me understand myself more, to be capable of nurturing and accepting myself. Through breathing and mindful approach I learned how my body reacts in different situations. I became aware of my defense reaction patterns, and how to embody and integrate my potentials
I am here to facilitate you on a journey of unfolding your true Self. I offer sessions to anyone who wants to take a conscious look at their own life and creations, take responsibility for it, explore their potentials and are willing to explore and embody self love and self acceptance.
Sovereign approach to parenting
What do I mean by being sovereign as a being? To be seen as a unique, whole, complete being. Can we see children like that? We need to be there for them to fulfill their needs. We as parents, other caregivers, or the community need to consider children as sovereign from the start. We don't need to model them but only facilitate them in their process of growth and development. A seed of an apple becomes an apple tree, and cannot become a banana tree. We just need to nourish that seed so that it can unfold itself and become what it is and has potential as a seed. We need to be present and responsible to see our children's needs and answer them. A sovereign approach to parenting means that children are seen and sensed as sovereign beings, meaning they are unique and complete from the start as the seed of a tree is. Aldo their development and growth into the material world have just started. If we want them to thrive we need to let them unfold their unique being, truth, and true potential and accept all they are from the start. They need our love and support for that. And if we want to be able to give them that, we need to give it to ourselves first. The support of the community can be very helpful. Most of the time parents are just repeating the behavior of their parents or want to repair their own unfulfilled needs they had as a child. Because every hurt, trauma, and developmental trauma search for and wants to be resolved, from the inside or the outside. And that is why someone who is aiming to live a sovereign life, to be sovereign should first take a look at self and take responsibility for their lives and creations. Someone who is in a victim mentality will always look for the answers from the outside and never found themselves there. Until ultimately the outside circumstances don't make him look inside. That is what the sovereign approach means to me. First look at myself, my own needs, fulfill my own needs, and not look at resolving from the outside. Because it can only come from the outside when I have potential on the inside for it. If a child triggers me in some way I will look on the inside and see why, what was it in me that was triggered? And when I have the capacity to do so and take responsibility for myself, can I see a child for who he is, not only being my mirror for my inner child? It is an ever-growing relationship with myself, my partner, and my children. That is a sovereign approach to parenting. Seeing every part of the little sovereign community (family) as a unique whole and complete being.
A parenting style cannot be much different from the personality of a parent, from who he/she is, what are their beliefs, and aims in life. And it shouldn't be different. Parents shouldn't give up on themselves. They should look for their fulfillment, and not end up blaming kids for their unfulfilled dreams (because it can become a great burden for the kids). It means to take responsibility for yourself first so that you can give more and from a truer place to your kids. Everyone who wants the best for their kids will want it from a place of their needs and beliefs. If a parent values being a part of the community, he/she will want that for his/her child. Or if someone values freedom, he/she will want that for his/her child. And it is in a sovereign domain of a family.
What does being sovereign means? Usually, we are using it in a political view, but I used it in a family context. Who is responsible for children that enter the world? Naturally, biologically, emotionaly it is in the domain of parents. In cases of extreme neglect and abuse, it is in the domain of the larger political community. But we need to be very consciouss about defining those terms. Families that are able we should see as sovereign communities. The symbiosis between a mother and a child does not end with a birth. And that is why there should be taken into account in the birthing environment the responsibility of a mother more than the communal responsibility towards the child. Parents, mothers should have freedom of choice regarding the decisions during the birthing process and beyond. There should also be help from the community when parents need it, but without interference when it is not needed. It should be considered a human right.
My values are sovereignty and freedom, and that is why I chose to live life the way I do, and parenting styles that value those things. I am unschooling, worldschooling mom. that means my children dont go to regular schools. They are free, sovereign beings who are self-directed learners. My family does not live in one place, and one country. We love to travel and be in nature. We love to explore the planet Earth.
Collaboration with Lana- body oriented psychotherapy
I am not a psychotherapist, but this technique and approach influenced my work today as I was participating in so many workshops, therapies, and schools over the span of more then 10 years. I collaborate with my sister Lana Kunstek who is a certified psychotherapist in workshops.
Here is an insert from her website:
"Body-oriented psychotherapy is an integrative approach to human consciousness. In body-oriented psychotherapy, we use the body as a map of the psyche. Every form of trauma, hurt, neglect, and discomfort is stored somewhere in the body and is preventing us from experiencing our true potential and inner truth. Once freed from protection patterns, our bodies become an incredible treasury of pleasure, aliveness, and inner wisdom.
We all seek to feel good, have a good life, and be happy. Once we step into the wisdom that is already within we see clearly who we truly are and what is important for us.
By exploring the theory of Personality Reaction Patterns, we get the opportunity to know ourselves and the way we react to stress and discomfort. For example, why do I always expect that somebody will betray me? Why am I afraid of criticism? Why do I feel that my needs are never met? Why am I always anxious? Why can't I say no?
Our reactions to external reality are the reason why we can't achieve our deepest aspirations in life. Reaction patterns usually stem from early childhood and have served the child in the ability to adapt to circumstances and family situations. However, as adults, we can change our belief systems and behaviors, because now we have a choice. Recognizing our feelings, we gain clarity of who we truly are, and from that and that alone we are able to know what we desire in life. We can't change what we are not aware of. By understanding our unconscious reactions, belief systems, and inner NO to life, we are able to get in contact with our essence. Essence is our basic and most important quality. Our essence is the place in us from which we create and manifest our dreams. It is a place of knowing, love, compassion, and openness. In our essence, we are forever sovereign.
The deepest longing every human being has is the longing for self-realization. Our deep desire is to live all that we are, to achieve our talents and potentials, to feel pleasure, to be intimate with other people, and to realize our deep need for life. But rare are those who really live this kind of reality. Is it luck, destiny, or something else? The truth is, in order to live the life we truly deserve; we must become aware that sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
In body-oriented therapy, apart from the talk, the body is used as a tool for expressing emotions, most often suppressed emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear. We do this by tracking the impulse in the body and discovering the story behind the impulse. For example, when I feel pain in my heart what is that related to? Where do I feel fear in my body and what are the circumstances that cause it? Usually, we discover patterns of early childhood that are unconsciously repeated in adulthood. We often identify ourselves with our stories, but the story is only the result of a specific emotional and energetic reaction. In our bodies are stored our defense mechanisms and traumas. The way we hold our bodies, where we are tense, or where we have chronic pain are all guidelines to detect repressed emotions. Until we get to know all that we are, it is likely that our behavior will be conditioned by learned reaction patterns.
We use breath and movement as a tool for releasing and allowing emotions. When we allow ourselves to feel one emotion, we open ourselves up to different kinds of emotions. Without this, we are stuck in the single emotion we are trying to suppress. We do this because we are afraid the pain is all there is and therefore we choose what is safe, otherwise known as the comfort zone. Often, we are more afraid of the positive and unexplored rather than the negative and familiar experiences. For that reason, we get stuck in a vicious circle.
We learn how to feel without getting attached to feelings. It is a way out from discomfort, painful emotions, and traumatic experiences. This way, we get the ability to allow what has always been there, such as pleasure, and we begin to experience trust, joy, and expansion of our being. Through this therapeutic process, we learn how to respond to our own needs, set boundaries, sort important from unimportant, and realize that all of our experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant, have brought us something beyond measurement: the wisdom.
Wisdom helps us to accept our human self and opens us up to a fulfillment of one's own potential of embodied mastery. Only when we stand on our own ground and are deeply rooted in it can we begin to identify with what we truly are - our essence - the god that is within."
Lana Kunštek
Source: www.therapywithlana.com
Lana is my lovely sister with whome I work together in expanding consciousness, and energy flow in our bodies. We work together through emodied practices in which human allows the divine flow of the soul in the body. We work beyond the mass consciousness in sovereign domain.
